Of Everything, Nothing and Gratitude [December 20 series]

You are not obligated to win, you are obligated to keep trying. To the best you can do everyday – Jason Mraz

Time have literally flew by and I do not know how I have become this old.

The last year started on a bright note really, despite it being tough, torrid and downright unpredictable. My people won on so many levels and I did too, especially with the fact that I didn’t lose my way and my life but despite all the wins which would have been crowned by a new nomenclature suffix, this didn’t happen but I am immensely grateful.

At the earlier part of the year, I joined the parent of a little girl whom I watched grow and some few other good heads and collectively, we tutored Zai to winning a scholarship. This made me so elated and small as the scholarship might seem, small as my input feels to me, it was a big deal for me and again, I am grateful for this.

Through the lockdown and subsequent events following the pandemic of which one is the nationwide peaceful protest and the attendant economic downturn that resulted in deaths, hunger, loss of livelihood and general suffering in the land, my immediate family was at the very least able to hold it down and together, my friends thrived and people whom I really care about still have their heads above water, this lifts my entire soul and spirit but not beyond the occasional immense sadness that engulfs me seeing as people strive to no end; to see hunger, to see pain and to see extreme suffering avoidable with little sincere efforts by people at the helms.

A big lesson I thought I knew about but learnt practically this year was the “Kira Kita o dola” adage and the divine lesson embedded in the Glorious Quran chapter 8 (Al Anfal) v30; There was an endeavour I put everything in my capacity; time, money, knowledge, prayers and even physical energy into and Allah showed that He is the Almighty and that even with all the efforts sunk in, He would withhold it. However, some things I paid no real mind or attention to, endeavour I was half heartedly and comically committed to came to fruition.

I also started a new challenge, one that stretches me thin but I am so excited about, this is nothing huge but I look forward to the full immersion and conclusion of it.

I will give the botched endeavour another go in this new year and still pray that Almighty Allah make it happen if I get to live that long that is. I have however set a bigger target, I will continue speaking against and avoiding toxic traits and misbehaviours, I will continue striving to be a proper human and will forever not take any sentiment above humanity.

The last one year have been loads of everything that could possibly go wrong but sincerely, I’d be so ungrateful to say it was a bad year for me. Again, most of the people I hold dear to my heart still thrived in spite of everything.

I’ve grown so old now that it scares me how short I have left and Plato further scares me with this quote; “Our greatest fear should not be failure…but of succeeding at things in life that doesn’t really matter.”

Today is my supposed birthday again, I am full of gratitude , it’s another year off the total I am due on here and just like I did when nurses held me up for my mum to see on that fateful Friday at Island Maternity, I will cry if I want to!

“Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer and let faith be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good.

~ MAYA ANGELOU