We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.”
Cynthia Ozick
I have come to realise that the biggest blessings are the ones which we do not necessarily remember or have time to ask the Almighty for and the realization of this, my friends, is the bedrock of gratitude.
I have to do this once again as is usual and it has to be very short because awareness is key. The awareness that most of us have a very short attention span and we hardly ever read if it’s not tied to something of great interest and or related to passing an examination or interview or anything of that nature.
The last year again brought all the emotions there is and then one more, which was absolutely surreal;
The universe threw me into fatherhood and then weeks into it, a trial of immense strain and that of lesson came to the fore;
My greatest gift in my thirty odd years of this journey called life came into being in the second month of the year and there was no word, no phrase or any sentence worthy to describe the feels, I know of nothing to say or do but to be grateful. It was unimaginably pure and surreal.
But then, the trial struck!
I took it upon myself not to tell anyone but only my nuclear family, a tiny number of extended ones and friends when my son got very ill, he was barely 3 weeks old and he was admitted at Massey street Children hospital for the same number of weeks.
The world of my spouse and I went into a frenzied spin, everything became dark and blurry. Emotions, finances and even physical and mental health of those directly involved went jagged and ragged. Yet, we, had to put up an appearance; I was observing Ramadan sawm, writing exams in school, showing up at work and resuming every day at the hospital except on days I had to stay back at school to write exams. It was total madness but we ploughed ahead while praying and hoping on God for the miraculous turnaround to be completed.
Zlatan came out of the period stronger and I was able to pass all my papers for the semester, well, not as best as it could have been, as I had to drop the ambition of making first class honors but I did pass with the help of Almighty Allah and the fantastic woman who is my level advisor in school.
In this period, I understood the importance of family, the importance of having a mentally strong spouse and the length a mother-in-law could go as she was rock solid, I can not even begin to describe all she did but she practically paused her own existence for Zlatan and for this, she can never put a foot wrong with me, she was everything and more!
I had to deal with my own emotions too through this period, my sanity and that of my spouse came to questioning, I put my spouse through an unnecessary bad time but she stood firm and unwavered, this woman stood beside and behind me despite me exposing her to bullcraps and together, we prevailed and survived that toughest period yet of our coming to be and still, Allah was magnanimous enough to give us something huge through my wife.
I do not take any of the things I own or owned for granted as I have said earlier, the real blessings are inherent in the things we do not remember to ask the Almighty for and the things we forget to be thankful to him for. And just like Dido said in her fantastic record that is white flag, nothing I own is truly mine.
I have trudged and survived another year and this year came with other responsibilities other than being a good human but also to be a good spouse and a responsible and present father.
This is the more reason why I am grateful for love, for life, for the people around me, for sustenance and for the ability to be able to show up on this day that is supposedly the day I was born, thirty odd years ago.
Today is my birthday, I am immensely grateful for everything said and unsaid, the trials and then the ability to prevail despite the stacked odds. Regular readers will notice I have barely spoken about personal achievements and milestone this time, I did cleared some of those things I set out to, I flunked some too to be quite honest but then, we will go again next year if Allah permits for oxygen to be in these lungs.
Today is once again my birthday and for the fact that it inches me closer to the day I am called to vacate this earth, I will cry if I want to.
👣 The 'Lanre Bucknor 👥 