Being a strong man includes being kind. That there is nothing weak about kindness and compassion. There is nothing weak about looking out for others. There is nothing weak about being honourable. You are not a sucker to have integrity and to treat others with respect.
Barack Hussein Obama
My wife once said and here, I paraphrase; “I have only seen you in tears twice since I’ve known you; when you talked about your dad and now”.
The now in that sentence being when my son was 3 weeks old, hospitalized and we were informed he has a 50-50 chance of survival. I’ve lived in more gratitude ever since especially when I watch the boy smile and whenever he displays amazing motor skills beyond his tiny amount of years.
There’s something that comes with adulthood, fatherhood and advancement in age; I can’t place it but I think it results into you being more aware of responsibilities towards others more than yourself alone, real men feel this everyday of their lives and women even seem to feel it the more especially when they’ve conceived and have offsprings.
I don’t know how I have come to become this way actually but more and more, my birthdays are less and less exciting and appealing as I become more advanced in age and yes, I am becoming very old that it actually scares me.
But hey, it’s not all gloom and doom, it’s been turpsy turvy though and basically that is what life is in itself. And whoever is not experiencing the ups and downs has literally stopped living, remember how the display on Vital signs monitors looks? Yeah, there!
The last one year of course have been eventful as it ought to and one of the things I have greatly invested my emotions in learning is discipline; I am still far off in my lessons as regards this but nonetheless, the fact that I am conscious about its learning is something.
Again, I started something and dropped it, I should return to it in the new year, I think I need to renew my intention as regards that because sincerely, the intention was clear initially but it drifted into something not meaningful and this made it less interesting for me to keep pursuing + I had so much on the plate that I seem to have ran myself into the ground physically and mentally too.
The last year isn’t really a bad one in terms of goals set and met but hey, I have not been called by Allah to his house yet and I have not put in enough work to drive a Mercedes or live in Magodo phase 2, heck, I haven’t even been able to learn Arabic either in Madrasah or even on Duolingo but I still breath and that’s a thing! And just as my Hausa people will say; “Babu wanda ya isa yayi maka abun da Allah baiyi ma ba”
I am actually excited for the coming year not because of myself per sè, but the possibilities that comes with my lil man starting out with formal classroom education, I am looking forward to how he interacts with his peers, how he learns to do things through the lens of humans not remotely related to him by blood and how he tends to transform from a chaotic toddler to that immensely smart human, it’s a lot to unpack, a lot of responsibilities mentally and financially but one I am looking forward to how I navigate because sincerely, I feel overwhelmed already as I know a lot of what the guy becomes rests on my person and to be quite honest, I am just going to beg Allah for wisdom and sustenance as to how to tread the path.
I should learn to enjoy life more though; step out in the sun, feel the morning breeze, bask in the sun, taste fantastic non intoxicants, walk bare footed on the beach, look extremely handsome everyday, smile more generously and be a little selfish as regards worrying for the well being of others to the detriment of mine.
I think my mind is too fixated on achieving set-goals that it affects me enjoying life, so to say, I should live a little bit more “recklessly” going forward, if I perish, I perish, you know? 😃
At this point, I think I am becoming a bore; truth is, I don’t even know what i am writing as it looks increasingly like I have lost the mojo to write and sincerely, I have zero emotions towards what today is but its my birthday and ideally; I should cry if I want to!
Oh and about the tears, it’s needed because really I don’t know how to shed some when I am sad and overwhelmed anymore, except I remember my father and whenever I read this article I penned from circa 2017 – https://thelanrebucknor.wordpress.com/2017/08/28/i-didnt-cry-when-my-dad-died-by-lanre-bucknor/
Happy birthday ‘Lanrewaju.
Oju o ni tie l’ola Allahu Rabbi
7 Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do. 8 Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil. 9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. 10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.
⁃ Ecclesiastes 9: 7-10
👣 The 'Lanre Bucknor 👥 
The ‘rooz, cheers to a new beginning.
And just as it is with you, some hitherto important things have paled into insignificance as I pile on the years. Seems it has to do with age and responsibility.
This responsibility is what you have put on yourself even on your birthday.
May it please The Almighty to make this the best year so far, and may all that you desire, which conforms with His will for you, find fulfillment.
Once again, cheers to a blessed new season!